According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-esteem is the “sense of personal worth and ability that is fundamental to an individual’s identity.” In simple terms, it’s about feeling good about yourself.
Apparently, that’s easier said than done. No matter how much you remind yourself to be more confident and appreciate who you are as a person, strengthening your self-esteem is neither a piece of cake, nor a walk in the park.
So if shouting, “I’m confident,” countless times doesn’t work, you may wonder just what it takes to give your self-esteem a boost. Well, first of all, a lot. Secondly, shouting and convincing yourself that you are confident is not enough to reach the pinnacle of your self-worth.
If you really want to strengthen your self-esteem, here are 10 surprising ways to do it.
1. Self-Esteem Booster No. 1: Focus on Positive Things
It is easy to obsess on things that you need to improve. That’s okay. It means you are acknowledging your mistakes and trying to work out those areas that need an overhaul. However, if you dwell too much on the negative, that’s where the problem lies. Believe it or not, your self-esteem is also affected.
In case you’re at your lowest, or you simply want to give yourself a boost, write down five positive things about yourself. If shouting it out will make you feel better, go ahead and shout. It may seem embarrassing at first, but this will help you realize your strengths, which you can take advantage of later on.
2. Self-Esteem Booster No. 2: Stay Away from Social Media
Okay, this may seem impossible since Facebook, Instagram and whatever social media accounts you have are already part of your daily routine.
You may not notice, but social media is a silent killer when it comes to making yourself feel inferior. The truth is, constantly exposing yourself to your friend’s oh-so perfect life can bring down your self-esteem, which can be difficult for you to get back up.
What is the best way to deal with this? Have a social media detox at least for a week. If it’s too difficult for you, at least look at your own profile. At the same time, try your best to stop looking at your friend’s posts and tweets. This will make you feel more self-affirmed and more confident about yourself.
3. Self-Esteem Booster No. 3: Face Your Fears
William Jennings Bryan once said, “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear.” Everyone has a fear he or she is afraid to face, including you.
It may be as simple as fear of cats, or as serious as a fear of death, but whatever it is, fears are what keep you on the same page and unable to move on.
Believe it or not, facing your fears helps a lot in building your self-confidence. It may take some time before you are able to overcome these fears, but for starters, at least try. Instead of feeling fear and creating barriers, teach yourself to be curious. Curiosity can open up doors, making you more open-minded and enthusiastic in dealing with things. Don’t worry. You’ll forget your fears eventually.
4. Self-Esteem Booster No. 4: Learn to Accept Failure
Many people are not into failure, rejection and the like. That’s totally normal. Who wants to fail anyway?
However, failing or getting rejected once in a while is fine, since it makes you stronger and wiser. However, the one thing it’s capable of killing is your self-esteem.
Here’s the truth: we learn something from failing. It may seem horrible at the start, since it makes us feel weak. On the other hand, it means there is room for improvement that you can work on to make yourself better. At the same time, you gain experience and learning, which you can use to boost your self-esteem. Your chances of succeeding increase.
At the same time you’ll boost your inner strength and be more likely to succeed. Just imagine this. Don’t you think you will be more proud of yourself when you know that you can surpass anything, whatever it is that comes your way?
5. Self-Esteem Booster No. 5: Do Something Different
You may often complain about your lack of having a life, or doing the same old routine everyday for as long as you can remember.
Although routine makes you feel comfortable, don’t you often dream of spicing it up for a change? After all, a lack of change or excitement in your life can take a toll on your self-esteem, too.
In what way? It’s like telling yourself that you deserve to live a boring, non-exciting life.
Therefore, once in a while, try to do something different or random in your life. Toss away your planner and do something out of the box, something not included in your daily or weekly plan. Instead of heading to the beach on a weekend, do it on weekdays. To keep things simple or more affordable, wear a different shade or a style you don’t usually wear.
The point is try to do something out of character to stretch yourself a bit. It has a positive effect on your self-esteem.
6. Self-Esteem Booster No. 6: Remember the Good Things
There will always be good days and bad days. In case the bad days are taking over your life, here’s a trick you can do. Take a look at your previous accomplishments and how your life has been so far.
Get out your baby pictures or any pictures that reflect fun, memorable moments, like your school yearbook, or any diplomas and awards you received during your student years.
In other words, take that trip down the memory lane to see how you’ve become over the years. It may not seem a lot, but believe it or not, these little things and memories are a good reminder of how exciting your life has been.
7. Self-Esteem Booster No. 7: It’s You First Before the World
Have you always been that “yes” person? Do you always say yes to everyone, even if you don’t even know how to finish everything? There’s nothing wrong with lending a helping hand, but seriously? Have you ever heard about putting yourself first?
Being selfish once in a while is okay, especially if it is within reason. It’s actually liberating and yes, it can also boost your self-esteem. This is because when you attend to your needs first before everyone else, you remind yourself of how important you truly are.
Does this mean you should stop attending to other people’s needs? Not necessarily. However, there’s nothing wrong with going shopping for yourself, instead of having drinks with your colleagues. It’s okay to leave the office earlier than usual for a night of pampering. This will help bring your confidence back, since you know who and what to put first.
8. Self-Esteem Booster No. 8: Be Objective
It’s part of human nature to keep comparing yourself to others. Why does she have a bigger house, or how come she earns more than you, despite having the same level of education? Perhaps you wonder why she has a nicer home, or how come she owns more designer bags than you?
Well, first of all, you have to get rid of this habit of comparing yourself to other people. Second, if you continuously see yourself as inferior to others, don’t expect to have better self-esteem. Third, take a moment to look at yourself in front of the mirror and remind yourself of who you are as a person.
Try to stand with your back facing the mirror. Then hold another mirror in front of you, so you have an idea of how a stranger sees you. This way, you will be able to realize you’re not as bad as you think you are.
9. Self-Esteem Booster No. 9: Always Be Prepared
Before you take a big test or present something before management, what’s that one thing you always do? Prepare, right? It startles and crumbles when you know nothing, or have no idea of what’s going on around you. Therefore, preparing and educating yourself before going in the battlefield will help you a lot in boosting your confidence.
Aside from the topic you need to prepare on, look for techniques that can help you calm down your nerves. Visualization techniques can also help make you more confident and positive as you start with your speech.
The bottom line is prepare. It’s going to make a lot of difference.
10. Self-Esteem Booster No. 10: Connect with Yourself
You are your constant best friend and challenger. Therefore, take some time to connect and talk with yourself. Try to talk to yourself as if you are just a friend. Compliment your hair, how the shade of lipstick looks good on you and how gorgeous you are when your hair is down. It will make you feel better.
Aside from this, get to know yourself better to be able to build your self-esteem. Explore, face your fears and figure out the things you love.
Once you are able to reconnect with yourself and get to know yourself better, you’ll have more confidence in yourself. Don’t worry about what other people think. You now have enough confidence to not care about what they think of you.
Of course, it will take some time before you reach the full potential of your self-esteem. Don’t worry – just follow these simple tricks, so you can say hello to great self-confidence in no time.