Rejection may be one of the most painful things that a person can go through. It bursts your hope, it bruises your ego and it deflates your self-confidence. It can even will make you question your ability, wonder where you fell short and if they were ever truly able to give it their all. No one likes rejection and no one likes the feeling you get after being rejected.The reality, however, is that people get rejected. Every day, every hour, there is someone out there who gets rejected – rejected from a job application, rejected by friends or family, rejected by a love interest, and the list goes on. It is why the world runs rampant with so many people who are sad and depressed. The good thing is that the feeling of rejection is not a permanent thing. It is up to you as to exactly how you let the feelings of rejection affect you.
Yes, the pain of rejection is something you can control. Either you control it or it controls you, but it would be so much better if you came out on top of it. It just comes with some acceptance and positivity on your part. Here are 11 peaceful ways to handle the pain of rejection.
1. Grieve Over It For An Acceptable Amount Of Time
Grieving is normal. In fact, if you do not grieve, then something may not be right with you. In every pain, rejection or every time a person is hurt, grieving is the first stage down the road to moving on.
You cannot move on, if you do not contemplate the pain you just went through. It is a vital part of the process for you to finally accept things and start over again.
You may be the kind of person who does not dwell much on things, especially on things that hurt you. Believe us when we say that choosing to ignore it will be much more difficult in the future. Take some time now to allow yourself to grieve over the hurt, but do it in an acceptable amount of time.
2. Internalize And Understand
You may find it contradictory, but dwelling over the facts of the rejection will actually lead you to become better.
How? Well, when you really think about the facts and dwell over the details, you will get a clearer understanding on the rejection.
For example, when you were declined for a job you applied for, you can think about the qualifications that you did not meet, or the questions that you answered incorrectly.
It’s like you are given the freedom to ask yourself where you went wrong, because it’s a learning experience to ask yourself where you fell short, as long as you do that only with the motivation to improve. When you allow yourself to internalize, you allow yourself to understand and start to accept the rejection.
3. Share How You Feel With Someone You Trust
Of course, you should not keep it all to yourself. That will just make things worse and the recovery will take longer. When you feel the hurt and pain of rejection, a good way to cope is to share your feelings with someone you trust.
Voicing out your feelings is a sign that you are starting to accept the reality, instead of keeping it inside, which sometimes is an indication that you still refuse to acknowledge what really happened. It is important too, that you share these emotions with someone you trust. One or two people will do the trick. Sharing it to a lot of people will risk your privacy. It could even leak back to the person who rejected you.
4. Do Not Take Anything Personally
Here’s the thing. When you get rejected from a job application, you can be sure that it’s nothing personal.
The company might be looking for someone with a different set of skills. Even when you are rejected by someone personal in your life, it’s easy to take it all personally, but try not to.
Although all signs may lead to showing that the rejection is personal, even if hurtful words were exchanged in the heat of the moment, it is always good to avoid taking anything personally. This will just deepen the hurt and prolong your suffering. Instead, take those hurtful words as constructive criticism that can help you change for the better. In life, there are many things that can happen and if you take everything personally, you’ll come out bruised and battered.
5. Look At The Bright Side
There’s this saying: “No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side.” It’s actually true. It’s metaphorical, but it’s true.
In fact, looking at the bright side of things will make you learn more positive things, will help you move on faster, and will make you a better person overall. Always look at the positive effects of a rejection.
Your long time partner rejected you? Good, it will give you more time for yourself, your family and friends and it only means that he was not Mr. Right. You got rejected from a job application? Good, it only means something better is waiting for you, perhaps even something that is more appropriate for your career and your calling.
6. List The Good Things That You Learned From It
A good way to cope from the hurt and pain of rejection is to see the good things that came out from it. Sure, you may think that there is none and after the initial shock, you can be hateful and say that nothing good came out of it.
After a few days and internalizing things, you will start to learn the positive things that came out of the rejection. The bright side of things, as what most would say.
It would be a big help to list these things. Every time you feel down or you remember the pain and start feeling depressed again, you can go back to the list and remind yourself on all the ways you came out strong.
7. Think Of It As A “Plot Twist.”
Your life is your own story and whatever comes out of it is how you perceive yourself and everything you live with.
Handling the pain of rejection may not be easy, but it will be if you think of it as a “plot twist.” What is a plot twist? It’s the significant and pivotal part of the story where the main character finally turns towards the good things that are yet to come.
Be that protagonist in your story. Take the rejection with your chin up and your head held high and just yell out loud “plot twist.”
8. Do Not Regret Anything
Moving on becomes harder when there are any feelings – even the teeny-tiny bit feelings – of regret. Regret pulls you down and withdraws any part of moving on that you have done. When you are almost over the rejection, a wave of regret can bring you right back to square one.
You know what, never regret anything, especially anything that made you happy or motivated you at one point. You only get one life. Do not spend it living with regret.
9. Know That You Did Your Best
Do not punish yourself any longer. When you were rejected, it was not because you lacked motivation. It was not because you lacked sincerity or intention. Maybe they were looking for a different set of skills, but it does not mean that you lack in your own. Just know in your heart that you did your best.
Know that you gave what you had and spread everything out on the table. Be proud of yourself, instead of feeling humiliated. If anything, think that it is their loss for not choosing you.
10. Find Something Else To Give Your Attention To
Your secret weapon to moving on faster is to divert your energy and attention to something positive. Find something else to give your attention to, and immerse yourself in it completely. All this, of course, while you nurse your feelings. It does not mean that you turn yourself completely away from moving on, but through it all, dealing with the pain and learning the good things that came from it is one way to rediscover yourself.
Find something else or someone else that makes you happy. It could be something as simple as a good novel, reconnecting with an old friend or taking a class. You may have to push yourself a bit, but that’s the fun thing about learning how to make the best out of life.
11. Keep Moving Forward
In everything, keep moving forward. It’s the only choice you have, anyway. You can’t go back, you can’t turn back time, and you can’t take back what was said and done.
It is up to you how you move, but always remember to keep moving forward. You can’t drive a car while looking in the rear view mirror, and the same goes for managing your future. Look forward, not back, and move on to the next adventure.
Rejection is a common experience. You may have at least gone through it once or twice in your life. It may be a small rejection, or a big one, but one thing is certain, whatever the outcome of that experience was and how it molded you today is your choice. If you come out on top or if you choose to let it beat you is something that you have complete power over. The decision is yours to learn and grow by life’s rejections.