Sometimes it can take a bit of time for Stella to get her groove back. Regardless of the circumstances, sometimes we experience prolonged bouts of abstinence. Whether welcomed or not, abstinence can offer us plenty of positive things. We can appreciate our bodies and become more comfortable with them, acquire strong relationships with our partners, and so on. However, eventually the time comes when you are ready to jump back in the sack.
Abstinence can cause us to feel self-conscious or bashful of our genitals. After all, it has been quite some time since someone has been down there. So, we begin to build up some anxiety as to how the experience will go down.
But are you ready? Returning back to your sexual self can be quite intimidating. Questions flood your mind about if the experience will be pleasurable, if any pain will be involved, and if you will still have your mojo. These thoughts and questions are perfectly normal, and we aim to answer them through this article.
Read on to learn about our tips for returning back to your sex life after a bit of a celibate vacation.
1. Are You Really Ready?
First thing’s first. Make sure that you are truly ready. Everyone’s situation is different. But, some naturally require more time and adjustment. The loss of your loved one or a traumatic sexual experience can spark a desire to avoid sex, and this desire is natural.
Some may choose to live this new life until they find the perfect partner. And, in this situation it may be easier to decide when one is ready for intercourse again. The important thing is to never rush back into sex.
Your new partner may push it, or you may feel like you owe it to your partner. But, the truth is that you have to wait until you absolutely feel ready. Undoubtedly, having sex again will pose emotional and mental challenges, as well as the physical. Make certain you are up for the change ahead of time.
To help you make this decision, really evaluate why it is that you are now ready to have sex again. Once you have made your decision, there are a few other things you can do to make the experience pleasurable.
2. Practice Alone Before Joining The Team
Before you join in on the fun with a partner, ensure that you can pleasure yourself first. Unless of course you are entirely opposed to masturbation, you should really consider self-pleasure before having sex again after a long hiatus.
Masturbation is not as cumbersome or filthy as it sounds. In fact, masturbation can help you get in touch, literally, with your own body. How can someone else pleasure you to orgasm if you cannot make yourself do it?
We suggest visiting a reputable website that has vibrators or other helpful sex toys. If you are too bashful, then there is another resort, specifically located on both of your hands. Feel around and become comfortable with your body and sexuality. Enjoy re-inventing your sex life, and begin with you and only you.
3. Enlist Help
We have already discussed the benefits of purchasing a sex toy to help masturbate. In addition to sex toys, it will also be beneficial to purchase a quality lubricant. Trust us when we say that you will definitely need this additional help.
Naturally, the genitals self-lubricate. However, this ability diminishes over time. And, any woman going through menopause will typically complain of vaginal dryness. Intercourse with dry genitals can lead to pain and bleeding. Neither of which will help you enjoy your romp in the sack.
Purchase a quality lubricant and ensure to have it on you whenever you anticipate having sex. Also, since we have recommended you to masturbate, we also recommend you to practice with the lubricant before using it during sex. Sometimes a lube may be uncomfortable or even make orgasms difficult, so it is best to know this information ahead of time.
Lubricant can in turn make masturbation easier, especially if you do not want to opt for a sex toy. Once you feel that you have all of the help that you need, then you are well on your way towards having sex again.
4. Take Your Time
Once you have made up your mind that you are truly ready to have sex again. And, you have warmed yourself up so to speak, then you are almost ready. Our next bit of advice is to make certain that you, under no circumstances, rush back into sex.
If you have your partner in mind, then ensure that you have thoroughly enjoyed and become comfortable with other sexual gestures before having sex. Petting and stroking one another is a great way to get a sexual feel without the intercourse, and you can even orgasm from dry humping.
When you find yourself in the heat of the moment and ready to go for it, see that there is plenty of foreplay. Some think foreplay as a waste of time. But, you need to think of it as if you are pre-heating an oven.
Would you bake your cookies before the oven is ready? No. You wait the five or so minutes for the oven to heat up before you place the cookies into the oven, and sex is exactly the same.
Put the time in to wait for intercourse. Foreplay relaxes you and sets the stage for an explosive experience. If you want nothing but the best out of sex, then we recommend you and your partner invest the time.
5. Have Confidence In Your Abilities
It may sound rather devious. But, have confidence in your sexual abilities. If you are entering the sexual world again, then chances are that you are ready to have sex with someone in your life.
This partner has chosen you for a reason, and you are sexually attractive and capable.
Revel in this connection, and do not even second-guess your abilities. Some people swear by the adage of, “Use it or lose it.” However, the truth is that having sex is just like riding a bicycle. It may be a little difficult to grip the handlebars and ride it like you used to. But, after some time you will be riding the same, if not better, in no time at all.
If it is your age that is causing you to feel self-conscious, then rest assured. Women in their 80’s are still enjoying sex, and if anything many women claim to have more sex in their old age.
Perhaps it is because of a lack of care, as many elderly women claim to not care about superficial issues anymore. Or, perhaps it is the gradual garnering of experiences that make us sexier as we age. Either way, elderly sex is a thing. In fact, many people claim nursing homes are quite sexually active.
6. Stay Protected
While on the note of having sex in a nursing home, it is also a fact that sexually transmitted diseases are very prevalent within nursing homes for that very reason.
Many assume, or begin to become apathetic towards the fact that, that sexually transmitted diseases are not as common in the elderly. However, this is not true.
Sexually transmitted diseases can occur in anyone at any time. Therefore, it is important to remain protected at all times. Just because you are having sex again does not mean you should not use a condom. Even if you are past your childbearing years, you should still protect yourself against STDs.
7. See A Doctor If Necessary
If at any time you feel physically uncomfortable or genital discomfort during sex, then it is imperative for you to consult the help of a physician.Stop immediately if you experience pain in any way, even in the middle of intercourse. Continuing despite pain will only create a snowball effect.
Vaginal dryness can be a sign of menopause or a post-menopause symptom, and other symptoms or side effects of sex can be negative.For example, if you experience bleeding at any period of intercourse then you may want to consider seeking the help of a physician. If anything, your physician can verify some of the recommendations we have made, such as adding lubrication to your sexual encounters.
Perhaps the issue is that your vaginal walls have simply shrunk in size. This is extremely normal for all women. The vaginal walls and linings shrink over time, and this is why vaginal dryness occurs. The vagina physically becomes tighter, which while it may sound pleasurable can actually cause pain to a woman.
As a result, it may take a little bit of time to adjust back to a regular sex life. If the vaginal walls feel as though they are too small then a physician can help restore the vagina to its original size with the help of a vaginal dilator.
Sex after however many years should not be uncomfortable. Instead, embrace this new beginning and treat yourself as a virgin all over again. Have fun with it, and learn to warm yourself up in a variety of ways. Get to know yourself sexually, and don’t hesitate to communicate your wants and desires with your new partner.
Never rush yourself. And,discover if sex is truly what you really want after all of this time. Take your time and enjoy your sack session. We guarantee that you will be glad to be back at it if you go about it correctly.