Being sensuous and confident in your sexuality is a positive thing. Most women would love to be more confident in their sexuality, and it is possible to make that a reality. Becoming more sexually confident is not about prescriptions, pills or medications. Here are nine safe ways to become more of a vixen today.
1. Write It Out to Gain More Insight and Find Solutions
Keeping a journal might seem like a thing of the past for an adult, but writing down your sexual exploits can help you better understand yourself. If it makes you feel better, you can always use a protected folder on your computer or an old-fashioned lock and key for your journal. This way, you can control you sees your sexy diary. You never know, though, maybe it could spice things up if you left it around for your lover to have a good read.
Do your best to write in your sex journal every day. Even if you aren’t feeling sexy, write about the things you would rather do instead of having sex. Write about all of your desires, fears and preferences, too.
Here are a few questions to help spark a writing session:
- What turns me on?
- If a dream sexual encounter could come true, what would it entail?
- What is my biggest sexual struggle?
Write it down when things excite you, and write even when things are not so exciting. In addition to remembering to constantly write, you must also vigilantly look back and read over your writing. Over time, you will forget writing certain things, and it will prove crucial to remind yourself of your past feelings.
You might notice recurring patterns. You might also arrive at a greater sense of self. Perhaps you can even help yourself overcome some wounds that you never even knew were present.
Writing is power. If you want to tap into your inner vixen, then you should consider writing about your sex life. You also should consider acknowledging your self-perception.
2. Understand That It’s Not Just About Your Body
One of the most significant things you must understand in order to attain sexual confidence is that your body is not the main concern. Too many women assume that sexual confidence arrives as soon as they achieve the perfect body. However, there is no such thing.
No woman has the perfect body. That’s right; here it is one more time: No woman has the perfect body. Ask any supermodel, actress, or plain Jane and they will all likely name at least one physical feature they would change about themselves.
Sexual confidence arrives once you accept your own body. You can have flaws, and you can have body goals in mind, but neither of these things should stop you from having sexual self-assurance.
Older women are beginning to understand that sexual confidence comes with age and experience. Younger women might have more objective sex appeal, but it is more so about the mentality. Older women bring additional attractive sex charm to the table. One cannot put it into words, but they just have it.
Accept your sexual experiences and learn that you should please yourself. It is not selfish to say that your sexual confidence should aim to entertain you. Your partner wants to please you, and they will enjoy doing so especially if you can show them how.
Once you love the skin you’re in, then you have made amazing leaps and bounds towards becoming a confident vixen. Now you just need to know your body in addition to accepting it.
3. Know What Makes You Tick to Find Your Sexual Self
There’s nothing sexier than a woman who knows what she wants. This can be applied in almost all contexts, but within the bedroom it is certain to drive your partner wild, in a good way of course.
It is so impeccably sexy and confident when a woman who knows what turns her on. You don’t necessarily need to become a bossy dominatrix in the bedroom to get what you want, either. Instead, guide your partner. Take charge and show them what delights you. Give pleasure to yourself in front of them and that is sure to do the trick.
Just remember that your sexual experiences should be about pleasing yourself. If you are comfortable, confident, and content, then you will only have positive experiences for the record books. If you are uncomfortable, only trying to satisfy others, or discontent then nothing good can come of that.
Chances are that you don’t know what makes you tick. After all, if you are looking to become more sexually confident, then you are probably lacking some understanding of your own body. Therefore, you need to well acquaint yourself with, well, yourself.
Masturbating is the best and most effective way to know what you want out of a sexual experience. As corny as it sounds, setting the mood can help relax you and prepare your mentality. Dim the lights, put on some music if you would like, and run a hot bath.
Work your fingers whenever you feel ready, and explore yourself fully. Make sure to pay attention to every crevice, and especially note anything that feels extraordinary. When you feel truly daring, you can start playing with various sex toys and gadgets aimed to thrill you.
You should convey your sexy findings to your partner. After all, communication is key for experiencing rousing sex sessions with your guy.
4. Talk it Out for a Healthier Sexual Relationship
Communication is imperative if you want a healthy and happy sexual relationship. Hopefully if you are already sexually active, then you have already spoken about protection and a plan in case any emergencies were to happen.
You do not necessarily have to sit down and have a long-winded conversation, but you should definitely place your apprehensions, desires and expectations on the table before you get down to it. Of course if you are not in a relationship yet, then you should have a conversation once you are. If at any time you feel as though your partner does not care what you have to say, then analyze if that is a relationship you want to continue.
You and your partner should be able to discuss birth control, safe sex, sexual boundaries, sexual desires and many other things. This help you and your partner attain a happier sexual relationship. It will also ensure that both of you avoid any potential heartaches or headaches in the future.
Another noteworthy topic of your sexual conversations should include sexual cravings and boundaries. Depending on how creative and daring your partner is, they might want to explore certain sexual realms that you might not be comfortable with. Therefore, it is substantial for you to communicate this effectively with your partner.
Let them know what you are and are not comfortable with. Never feel as though you should do something solely to make them happy. That is not necessary when you are a part of a healthy relationship.
Sometimes issues arise and you lose confidence in yourself when you cease to remember that you are only human.
5. Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself and Relax
The inundation of porn and sexual content in media has set unrealistic expectations for many people, especially women. Women often feel as though they can’t compare to the women on the screen, and therefore it becomes difficult to feel sexually confident.
Do your best to remember that you live in the real world and you are only human. Be honest and willing to do whatever it takes to make yourself healthy and happy. For example, this might require you to examine your own sexuality and happiness when it comes to your partner.
Never lead anyone on, take advantage of others, or fall into something that truly doesn’t make you happy. Live in the real world and accept nothing less than honesty. In order to be realistic, you will have to stop indulging in any fantasy that you find intriguing. By all means, keep the fantasy in your bedroom, but out of your expectations.
For example, if you are caught up in reading romance novels or romantic comedy films, then you likely have an unreal expectation as far as relationships are concerned. More than likely, you are not going to be swept off of your feet by a wittingly charming British model as you walk in the park tomorrow. Accept the differences between fantasy and reality. As soon as you do, you come one step closer to becoming sexually confident.
Do your best to self-evaluate. Take a look at your relationship and recognize whenever it becomes a little too dramatic or unrealistic. As soon as it does, determine whether or not this is truly the healthiest relationship for you.
Self-evaluation is essential for sexual confidence. However, in order to become a sexual vixen you have to know yourself and your body inside and out. This includes your brain as well.
6. Keep it Objective to Gain Sexual Confidence
Love and lust make logical, objective thoughts difficult. In fact, there is a scientific phenomenon for this experience. New relationship energy, or NRE, is the unparalleled energy you feel when you first start a relationship with someone. It is as if you are so attracted and so interested that you stop thinking for a moment. Actually, you might stop thinking logically.
It is necessary to recognize when you are in this mentality. You might not make decisions that are true to yourself, and you can later regret these decisions. You also might allow your genitals to pick your partner for you, which can also lead to some serious regrets. Even though this feeling of NRE is mystical, you should also do your best to remain as logical as possible.
Sexual confidence requires a person to be self-aware. Once you become self-aware, you can make the best decisions for yourself.
7. Know That Your Sexuality Doesn’t Define You
One of the crucial components of being a poised and sexual vixen is that you recognize that your sexuality is not all you have to offer. Women who are confident in themselves understand that their sexuality makes them a unique individual, but they have so many other endearing qualities, as well.
Self-esteem inhibits power and confidence in all things you do, not just your sex life. Once you are confident in other facets of your life, this will carry through into the bedroom as well.
Never let your sexuality define you. You have so much more to offer than just sex.
8. Never Stop Learning to Keep Sex Fun
Humility goes a long way when it comes to sexuality. Embrace life-long learning in the bedroom and this will help you head towards a fulfilling and healthy sex life. Do ensure, though, that your reading content is coming from credible sources and not just gossip magazines.
Read up on new positions, new sexual theories, and different sexual lifestyles before testing them out. Remember to converse with your partner and never offer any surprises. Remain honest and open in your newly found sexual knowledge, and let your partner know if something intrigues you.
This last tip for living a sexually confident life is of the utmost importance.
9. Release the Stress and Enjoy Your Sexual Self
At the end of the day, remember that you are partaking in sex for enjoyment. Never stress over it, and only share in activities that make you happy. Don’t force yourself into a situation you don’t want to be in with the intent to make your partner feel more satisfied. Instead, think a little selfishly and seek pleasure for you and your guy.
This concept carries into the bedroom as well. Never take yourself too seriously. If you try a position or sex toy and it flops, then laugh it off. It is perfectly normal to have a few bumps in the road. If everything went smoothly, then where would the excitement be?
Only a happy and healthy person can become a sexual bombshell. Ensure that you are making this change for the sexier you and only you. Never alter yourself for someone else. Love yourself, all curves and quirks included, and you will become more confident inside and outside of the bedroom.